Week 12 - learning how to play poker

When I think about poker, I immediately envisage two film scenarios.  One is Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and the other is James Bond.  One is a bit seedy, dark and primitive; the other is lavish, wealthy and nearly always dicing with death.  I imagine that in real life, most games of poker are unlike either but probably a bit closer to the former of those films.  

Regardless, I've always loved the idea of being able to play poker well. I guess I see it as being more on the glamorous side, but I just like games where you have to lie and bluff. 

A friend of mine did teach me while I was living in Argentina, but we only played that one time and so after 8 years I had well and truly forgotten.  With the impending blog looming, I knew this was another activity I could add to my wishlist for the year.

A former professional poker-playing friend of mine recommended I get in touch with Jacqui Terry, a top poker player, tutor and consultant who runs Capital Casino Events.  He told me that she is one of the best in the business and so I went all out and organised a Sunday session for myself and five other girlfriends to learn with me.

No sooner had Jacqui arrived, than my lounge was turned into a poker den (obviously a sophisticated one at that) complete with Bloody Marys, root vegetable crisps, hummous and homemade brownies (sugar-free, wheat-free, gluten-free: yep, that's how I roll)

We were going to learn the most common form of poker, Texas Hold 'Em and Jacqui brought the whole shebang with her so that we could learn the art, master the art?! and then use our knowledge and skills to play for real by the end, well, real in so much as no money was involved whatsoever!

We started off by sort of going through the end of a game and Jacqui taking us through each of the ten hands a player can have, from the worst hand of having no pair, right the way through to the grand daddy hand, a royal flush.  Apparently the odds of getting a royal flush are 643,000 to 1.  Although, quite incredibly and by sheer chance, one of us actually did get one. (Not me, obviously).

There are 2.5 million combinations in 5-card poker so the odds of getting a really good hand are genuinely pretty slim.  But, as Jacqui pointed out, the aim of the game is not to get the best possible hand in poker, its just to be better than your opponents.  You want to know that you can push your opponent out of the game and know that you have the best hand out of the group.  This comes from a bit of luck, (about 15-20%), a bit of bluffing, (about 5%) and then the rest is being able to make good decisions based on the knowledge that you have.  Its all about weeding out the weak, getting rid of the bad hands and hopefully, having control with just one other player left.

We started playing and my first pair of cards was a six and seven of clubs.  Nothing to write home about but in the beginning, its best not to fold just because you have lackluster cards, you just don't know what the rest of the community cards are going to be.  And, the point is of course, that it soon becomes apparent what people have by how much they're betting.  You can't play poker with scared money - you have to be prepared to loose.  I didn't do too well - I lost all my virtual money quite quickly but then, in this instance I was prepared to loose. That being said, you should for the most part play passively in order to keep the pot down.

 I would like to play for real and will definitely get some proper poker nights happening, although, you unquestionably need a dealer for decent poker games.  The one thing I didn't follow to the letter was when Jacqui was laying out a new card and generally being so fluid.   She was just effortless with passing round the dealer chip, dealing the cards, asking if people were folding, checking or calling and sorting through everyone's chips with grace and distinction.

What I liked the most about the afternoon though, wasn't learning about the actual rules or the strategy of poker, it was the statistics, the anecdotes and the quirks that Jacqui told us about.  Little things like if you're in the States and your first two cards are a Queen and a Three, that's known as "The Gay Waiter" (a Queen with a trēs) or if you get a Jack and a Five, that is known as the "Motown" (the Jackson Five). Or, my favourite, if you have a hand of Kings and Queens you've got an "Anna Kournikova", it looks pretty, but it doesn't always do a good job.

Jacqui regaled us with some entertaining stories and a little bit of an insight into some of her celebrity clients, which we all clung to with fascinating intent.  But, of course, I am not about to divulge any of those secrets.  You will just have to book Jacqui yourself.  But I'm not giving her business card away - it tells me everything I need to know!