Week eighteen

So up until this point I have been completely bowled over at how enjoyable I am finding each new thing I do and wonder if I am just too soft since I've pretty much loved everything and nothing has really had a bad review.  Until now that is.  Oh my - where to begin?

Firstly - Groupon is shit.  Sorry to be blunt but that's the way it is.  If you readers will remember I was supposed to do a DJ lesson early on in my ventures but the booking was messed up and I never got a refund.  Tonight's wine and cheese tasting was quite frankly embarrassing.  

It was at the top of the Sky bar on the 28th floor of Milbank Tower.  I imagined a sleek and stunning bar with plush purple couches and minimal decor.  Minimal is right - as my friend Nicole quite rightly pointed out, it was like waiting to board an aeroplane.  However, the views were stunning.

We were all herded like cattle into one area but told not to sit down as there was another party leaving. Instead we had to wait by the bar.  After being shoved into the corner and moved along, we were then told to queue up...only to sit down.  Just baffling.

So we were to be treated to 4 different wines and 4 cheeses together with a tutorial on how to drink wine properly.  An eccentric looking man in a terribly ill-fitting navy jacket with putrid lilac trousers was to be our host and tutor for the evening.  How ironic that his appearance said eccentricity when in reality he was completely dull.  Thankfully, even though he was quite unremarkable he still taught me a lot of things I didn't know about wine and how to taste and recognise different ones - and actually its really simple once you know the basics like looking at the "legs" once you've swirled the wine and knowing what they mean, or looking for the age of the wine through its colour - that I all found very interesting.

A bit strange and a bit dull

The biggest problem then lay within.  The amount of wine we were each given was pitiful.  I honestly don't think that all 4 even amounted to a full glass of wine.  The cheese portions were even worse - meagre at best and I loved that the girl sitting beside me uttered without even the smallest hint of sarcasm "I don't know where to start".

The one positive thing was that after the lessons in tasting the wine, what miniscule cheese I did eat, did actually go rather well with each glass of wine.  First up was a Sauvignon Blanc that was matched with goats cheese.  The smooth and creamy texture of the cheese just sort of blended with the fruitiness of the wine.

Next up was a Chardonnay paired with a mild cheddar - another lovely match.  Pity there was nothing of it.

I knew I'd have issues with the last 2 pairings as I hate red wine and so you might ask why I even bothered going to a cheese and wine tasting.  Well, I hate that I hate red wine and so I keep trying it in the hope that one day I will actually train myself to go the other way.  Unfortunately it hasn't happened yet.  I actually didn't mind one of them too much, a Cabernet Sauvignon which was quite smokey and not too bitter but I just couldn't drink the Merlot.  Another thing I learnt is that the reason red wine is so bitter is because of something called tannin and probably why I hate red wine.  The Merlot was paired with a manchego and the Cabernet with a danish blue.

Every single one of the wines was Chilean, and all from the same region.  The cheeses were ok but fairly uninspiring.  The whole evening was complete in under 40 minutes where we were again, ushered out of the room to make way for the next heard.

A cheese and wine evening is meant to be anything but rushed.  It was just so abundant that with the reduction through groupon (£15 instead of £50) they were trying to get their moneys worth with the littlest of effort and thought and also that they could get away with providing £15 worth of produce instead of anywhere near £50.  That is not what these offers are meant to be about.

The whole thing was just pretty laughable and I've learnt my lesson to not use groupon again and in future if I want to do a proper cheese and wine tasting in London I should stick to the old classics like Vinopolis or La Fromagerie.

I am however, thrilled at the thought of next week; a flying trapeze lesson. Eeeek.