Week Three

Its decided.  Monday is the new black.

There is something so absurd about the word bingo.  To many people it probably conjures up fairly provincial images of blue rinses, ill-fitting suits from the 70's, chain smokers, gold jewellery and bad teeth.  In some cities, that might be bang on.  But down here, in a city where black was the new black before black, put the word "gay" in front of something and you've got yourself a picture of possibilities.

Now I must be honest here - I'm probably as impressionable and easily led as the next try-hard trend-setter out there and only wanted to go to gay bingo after seeing an episode of Sex and the City where the four girls go there and leads to an amusing encounter for Samantha when she meets her "laydee" namesake.

However, up until now, gay bingo is another thing I'd yet to have actually got round to doing.  Its been around in London for a long time with the ultimate tranny host Jonny Woo at various locations around London but it is a weekly staple at the RVT in Vauxhall on Monday nights, which is where me and my friend Nicole went.

The RVT - the Royal Vauxhall Tavern is an imposing and beautiful Victoria building from the outside.  My initial reaction when inside was dirty man's pub, however, I was far too rash in my opinion and after sitting down I realised that it is actually a very lovely pub (although the toilets did smell like a porta-loo).  It is circular with a rather theatrical quality to it, both in the central columns but also with the split level at the back and the cute tables dotted all the way from the back to the stage.

The host is Timberlina, a rather whimsical, self-deprecating and flexible tranny with a beard.  She is hilarious; bringing her own flair to the evening's amusement.  Its not just bingo but a whole lot more, of random warblings, dolly dancing, poetic mime, spontaneous sing-a-longs and general banter.

The most you'll pay at Gay Bingo is £3.  There are 3 rounds of 3 and each round costs £1 and so there are 9 opportunities to win one of the utterly atrocious prizes on display ranging from washing powder to lighters to nasty acrylic pictures of waterfalls and the all important I love Sex mug.  My personal favourite was described by Timberlina as a "Balinese Elephant from Balinesia".

What could you not like about this?  Cheap, irreverent, fun music, prize-winning, feel-good entertainment.  If you ask me,  it could have been much more over the top.  I wanted a troupe of trannys causing mayhem and shouting filth at every opportunity.  But thats just me.

Next week I'm off to a laughter class. Ha.